As this project unfolds, so do I! Ha. I'm always humbled when something doesn't go right in an image, and my confidence gets a shakeup. I can counteract this with an image (or part of) that I LOVE and think works well. I love the colours!
Why do we artists have ups and downs when we strive so hard to master our materials? Well, for me, it's not only being an artist but being a human. No one is perfect. I used to strive for perfection a long time ago, but now I am happy with making colourful progress! We are programmed to err, and that we do. So I navigate my way through with lots of emotional eating. HA HA! Oh, and trying to have an inner dialogue that is soothing, calm and not so dramatic with its "you can do this" missives.
Some of my pages are working, and some not so much. Since I'm the illustrator, art director, coordinator and tea-maker, I can give myself a bit of a break. I know from assessing mistakes, we can work towards making progressional strides. Well, at least that's what I hope for; if I get an inch of that, I am successful.
Working on a book last year, I learnt a lesson regarding faith in oneself and one's abilities. I questioned heavily whether I should be illustrating books, but I soon realised that that voice was my fear talking. Once I started to have an inner dialogue with my own 'creativity', I soon realised the essence of my creativity needed to be expressed. The fear was really only about people being able to see and judge my work. It's easy being a 'drawer' and not putting anything out there, but as soon as more than one person could see my work, that meant I was open to criticism or rejection. Strength came from knowing that everything can be judged but there's not necessarily any merit in that. I am all open to positive criticism, but that's different. Having the experience of spending time around a judgmental person who rarely seemed happy with anything that came their way, I finally realised that that negativity affected my contentedness, playfulness and inner sanctuary. The positivity that came from that was realising my own negativity latched onto someone elses and grew. I really disliked that about myself and it certainly wasn't the 'essence' of who I am. It's best to step away from judgment whether that's from inner dialogue or from people who really aren't part of one's tribe. I try everyday to move away from judging so easily, I've been humbled many times. Find the people that really want to see you succeed and those that don't take anything away from the light that you shine...
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