Faith in abilities and staying away from negativity
As this project unfolds, so do I! Ha. It always humbles me when my confidence is given a bit of a shake up when something doesn't go quite right in an image. I can counteract this with an image (or part of) that I LOVE and think works really well. I love the colours!
Why do we artists have ups and downs when we have strived so hard to master our materials? Well, I know for me it's part and parcel of being an 'artist', of being a human. No-one is perfect. A long time ago I used to strive for perfection, but now I am happy with making colourful progress! We are programmed to err and that we do. So I navigate my way through with lots of emotional eating. HA HA! Oh and trying to have an inner dialogue that is soothing, calm and not so dramatic with it's "you can do this" missives.
Some of my pages are working and some not so much. Since I'm the illustrator, art director, coordinator and teamaker, I can give myself a bit of a break. I know from mistakes, we can make nice lengthy progression strides. Well, at least that's what I hope for, if I get an inch of that then I am being successful.
Working on a book last year, I learnt a lesson regarding faith in oneself and one's abilities. I questioned heavily whether I should be illustrating books, but I soon realised that that voice was my fear talking. Once I started to have an inner dialogue with my own 'creativity', I soon realised the essence of my creativity needed to be expressed. The fear was really only about people being able to see and judge my work. It's easy being a 'drawer' and not putting anything out there, but as soon as more than one person could see my work, that meant I was open to criticism or rejection. Strength came from knowing that everything can be judged but there's not necessarily any merit in that. I am all open to positive criticism, but that's different. Having the experience of spending time around a judgmental person who rarely seemed happy with anything that came their way, I finally realised that that negativity affected my contentedness, playfulness and inner sanctuary. The positivity that came from that was realising my own negativity latched onto someone elses and grew. I really disliked that about myself and it certainly wasn't the 'essence' of who I am. It's best to step away from judgment whether that's from inner dialogue or from people who really aren't part of one's tribe. I try everyday to move away from judging so easily, I've been humbled many times. Find the people that really want to see you succeed and those that don't take anything away from the light that you shine...